Random jokes

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by stevemachine, Jan 23, 2013.

  1. Jan 23, 2013 #1

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

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    I thought this could be a good thread for some funny jokes. I spend more time on here than I should do it'd be nice to get some laughs out it! I'll start it off and feel free to add if you have some good ones!
     
  2. Jan 23, 2013 #2

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

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    Two engineers are talking, one brings up a time when he sitting down at the university. He said a girl came up riding a bike, ditched the bike and stripped all of her clothes off and said "take what you want" so the engineer said he took her bike. The other engineer said "good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyways"
     
  3. Jan 23, 2013 #3

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

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    So a lady was on a plane that was about to crash land. She said "someone please step up and make me feel like a woman" so a man steps up, in buttons his shirt and walks up to her and says "can you make me a sandwich, oh and iron this shirt"
     
  4. Jan 23, 2013 #4

    havasu

    havasu

    havasu

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    "It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

    At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
    ...
    The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

    She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

    When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

    As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

    "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

    He said, "**** him, give him a dollar."

    The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
     
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  5. Jan 23, 2013 #5

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

    stevemachine

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    Lol that was Awesome havasu! Made me laugh out loud for sure!
     

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